Ain’t No Love In This Jungle
“It’s just a jungle out there” – a family friend said to me the other day as I lamented about another job rejection.
Whilst it was not necessary to get the tiny violin out, this recent one had stung a little as it was a role I’d really wanted – and to put it plainly, needed. After months of job hunting, while juggling some pretty heavy events happening in my personal life, stability and financial security was and still is all I am craving. But alas, this time it was not meant to be. This is not a pity post. I was happy with how I’d performed during the interview process. On this occasion, I’d grafted harder than a Love Island contestant crawling back from Casa Amor putting my Keynote presentation together. I’d done my absolute best and I was proud and confident at how I’d presented myself too. Not to blow my own trumpet, but I thought I’d nailed it. But yet, what I thought was my best was simply not enough. And that feeling my friends, fucking sucks. You can’t help but start to think you’re the issue.
In the words of Scarlet Envy: “Is it me? Am I the drama?!”
“Sometimes I wish I’d never gone traveling”, I replied to this person as I shut my laptop screen after another soul-destroying week lurking on LinkedIn. Doom-scrolling for jobs that suddenly disappear off the face of the Earth is not a fun way to spend your time. But beggars can’t be choosers. And I certainly chose my fate, when I decided to make the privileged decision to quit not just one, but two full-time jobs, to go explore this beautiful place called Earth. ‘This is Karma coming to bite you on the bum Lucy’, my mean fat controller inner critic jaunted.
‘Your old employers are laughing at you now going - “Hahaha… WE TOLD YOU SO.”
Maybe it was naive to think it would be relatively straightforward to walk into my dream job after being halfway across the world during a post-pandemic global recession. It’s not exactly the 90s, yet I decided to climb up the life ladder rather than the corporate ladder this past year. So, yes, I take responsibility for the position I find myself in. I may not have multiple Cannes Lions to my name, or worked at McDumpty Darren and Dicks, or got a stonking payrise, but I’ve created incredible memories whilst soaking up other countries and cultures.
If I’d not done all that, I’d have never met an inspiring Indonesian man called Jas who had his own tour-guide company in Lombok. This man showed me what hard work and humbleness can do for you, more than any ad exec had. If I’d never moved Down Under to give Melbourne a crack, I’d never have met our lovely Airbnb hostess Julia, who happened to be in this line of work. I’d have never met Max and Claire (who recently just got engaged (!!) so big shout out them) or gone to see Taylor Swift in Sydney on a whim with my good friend Dean.
As I networked hard, drinking long blacks like they were going out of fashion, lapping up people’s advice and wisdom, I kept thinking – ‘Am I looking through rose-tinted glasses or are Aussies just nice-r.’ The simple answer is yes, yes they are, because they get more sun. Whilst it felt uncomfortable putting myself out there, I didn’t have a choice. Luckily it paid off because I got to meet and freelance for some awesome agencies. Shout out to Dan Sparkes and Elle Bullen, Jess Wheeler, Shaun Macfarlane, Sarah McGregor, Britt Lippett and Blair Kimber for the chats. Sadly, life came at my partner and me so friggin’ fast when we got a call in April receiving some bad news, we decided to jump on a plane as soon as we feasibly could and fly home for reasons I don’t feel the need to disclose other than Melbourne had to be put on pause, and so did the notion of working abroad for a bit.
I’ve grown up in so many ways personally, as well as professionally this past year I know I’m far more employable now because of those experiences. I have zero regrets, just fond memories of hopping on the free inner city tram, meeting friendly people, eating sangas and drinking damn good coffee. Shout out to Patricia and Little Rogue <3
So yes, back in Blighty and I have a job hunt headache. I’m tired of all the “no’s” when I can hand-on-heart say “yes” to a lot of job spec criteria. I’m tired of staring at an empty inbox after shooting off several dozens of emails every day. I’m tired of the automated replies saying, “Your salary ambitions are too high”, when I know that mine are the market average. I’m tired of reaching out to recruiters about gigs that then get randomly deleted or the goalposts suddenly shift. I’m tired of wanting to work, but not wanting to play the game. I’m tired of moaning to my mates. I’m tired of saying “I’m doing alright” – when really, I feel utterly depressed. I’m tired of feeling this.
The truth is, I wish I was back in the real jungle, oggling at orangutans in Sumatra whilst singing: ‘Jungle Trek, Jungle Trek, in Bukit Lawang’ to the tune of Jingle Bells with a bunch of strangers you only met two days ago. I don’t know much, but what I do know is that life comes at you so aggressively fast sometimes, you have to make quick, selfless decisions in the pursuit of what you know is right over what you want. You have to keep going and you damn well, have to stop wasting your time on job applications that don’t disclose the salary even after you enquire politely. You also have to be humble and grateful for what you do have because I’m fortunate compared to so many other people on this planet. I have extreme privilege and I have a wealth of experience at my disposal.
I have no regrets about leaving the corporate jungle for a bit, to get to experience the real jungle instead. I’ve got life experiences and stories that will never leave me even when I leave this world. I’ve got memories and they’re so much more valuable than any self-prescribed job title one puts on their LinkedIn profile. I’m not really sure what I wanted to get out of this ramble, other than a reminder to never forget my worth, and to live life to its fullest.
Sometimes you have to take risks to succeed. Sure, you might fail. But you also might fly. There may not be a ton of love in this job jungle right now, but I’m optimistic that’ll change.